Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Why Obama Sucks and Why You Should Still Vote For Him

We are screwed.

It's tough to admit, especially for Americans. "We're winners dammit!" might as well be the national motto. We're God's chosen landmass so we always have to win. Always. Even when illiterate sixteen-year-olds kick our ass from Kabul to Karballah. Even when we've abdicated all the comforts of a modern democracy like healthcare and an actual living standard to further fund oligarchs and a warfighting industry that's been losing for a decade. Even when we've outsourced and offshored our own economy into oblivion things have to keep looking up because we're goddamn winners!

That's the biggest barrier to Obama's re-election right now -- people still expect America to win even though it's already lost. Wall Street is a giant leech on everything from petrol to bread, the Pentagon shows no sign of contracting it's budget or succeeding at anything, and "The Heartland" as it's so fond of calling itself is now witnessing a steep decline in life expectancy.

Face it folks. The Great Experiment is over.

And that's why you should vote for Obama next year. Not because he's fixed anything and not because he could fix anything -- hell, nobody can fix this. But Obama is bound by either principle or some dusty old by-laws of his party to still throw scraps to the peasants. Sure the healthcare "reform" was a tragic joke and a giveaway to insurance companies, but he still squeezed a few provisions for real human beings into it -- just ask any kid staying on their parents' plan until age 26.

And he's been as imperial in his war powers as Bush Jooner, but at least he's keeping it small and relatively smart. Bombing Libya is a human rights catastrophe but the odds of Joe This-Beats-Wal-Mart coming home draped in Old Glory is much lower under Obama's watch than any of his opponents. He's even using that bin Laden scalp hanging on his mantle next to his madrassa diploma to leverage the brassholes into a troop draw-down in Afghanistan. No Republican ever would have purged that bloodthirsty psycopath McChrystal, or shuffled that political knob Patreus over to something he's more suited for (ie. handing out cash to the strategically convenient terrorists).

And as far as Wall Street... Hell, you expect any American politician to behave any different?

The choice in 2012 is going to come down to how you like your decline. It ain't getting fixed folks, so get used to third world conditions. If you prefer comfort and a little healthcare -- but just a little -- Obama is the way to go. But if you really want to torpedo what's left of America and let the Saudis buy up even more highways and parking meters... In that case, fuck you. I hope you get syphilis.

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