Friday, June 17, 2011

Dick Joke Island

I realize I have been lax of late. While it took longer than expected to dissect the nerd phenotype several posts ago, I agree that is no excuse not to talk about the most pressing issue facing America -- Anthony Weiner's penis. Yes, nothing in the history of the Republic has been more important than the twitter-disseminated photos of some limousine liberal's private parts. I believe it was Roosevelt (though which one I forget) who said, "The only thing we have to fear is Weiner's weiner!" Nevermind that David Vitter, "The Shitter" remains in office after his much publicized infidelities with Canal Street hookers, or Larry Craig's insistence that taking it in the ass from men he meets in the bathroom totally isn't gay, Weiner's weiner is the most scandalous sex scandal in Congressional history.

And it distracts all you suckers from the GOP's major loss in New York.

One wouldn't think the district that includes Buffalo would constitute a major loss. This was the seat vacated by John Basedow wannabe Chris Lee so how important could it be? Well, how important was Senator Scott "I Drive A Truck" Brown's election? Remember that? The GOP wouldn't shut up about it as a referendum on Obama. Now they get their own referendum, a solidly Republican district for thirty years voted for a Democrat who was vocally opposed to the Ryan Bill, particularly the Medicare voucher nonsense.

If you didn't know about this, that's because it got no coverage in the national media. None. Hell, I only know about it because Beast writer Ian Murphy was on the Green Party ticket. He stirred up some controversy, doing such unheard of things as telling the truth and examining complex issues, so he never had a chance.

But think about that, folks -- a Red district turns Blue after the Ryan Bill appears on the national stage and that was with only 25% of the electorate showing up to the polls. What do you think is going to happen nationally if the GOP continues to pimp this randroid snake-oil?

Americans aren't stupid... No, they are stupid. Very stupid, but sometimes even they can see the scam for what it is. By pulling the safety net out from under their old, white base, the Republicans have made it damn clear that they don't care about poor people -- which to them is anyone making less than $500,000 a year. And if you saw the debate on Monday night you know how bad their presidential candidates are, so what's a bunch of soulless oligarchs to do?

Easy. Keep repeating "Weiner's weiner." Dazzle the peasants with dick jokes and maybe all the bad news will go away. That's the GOP's biggest handicap -- they're all just as dumb as their supporters.

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