Monday, September 21, 2015

Confessions of a Wage Slave, IV

There was an absolute scandal one day due to some woman's improper attire. Not just a skirt, but a denim skirt. Oh, what unholy horrors! Denim at the office! Anything but a durable cotton blend!

Now why, might you ask, would anyone care about a denim skirt? There are certainly worse things to wear, like a rubber inner tube and a smile. But it seems what really ruffled the feathered hair wasn't just the garment in question, but that it was hanging around the bread pudding ass of a fat girl.

You heard right, these office cows were scandalized by the sight of a fat chick in tight clothes. You'd think they'd never seen Springer or a mirror. But this just makes things more bizarre now, doesn't it? Fat wage-hags, the most appalling creature to ever emerge from America's drywall caves, and they spend a whole day tittering over another fatty like her weight were some anomaly, or maybe like she just broke some secret fatty code...

A-ha! I bet that's it; they're really scandalized because one of their own took a chance, took the chance of displaying her blubber to the world without the decency to be obsessively self-conscious!

You have to understand, the white-collar slaves populating this country are some of the ugliest humans in the world - fat, saggy potato-people with butts like watermelons. They don't want other, prettier humans looking directly at them. Ever. So, for this lone fat chick to display her folds with confidence, that just won't fly.

"She thinks she's all that but she's not!"

"People like her really need to be stopped from looking like that."

"I don't think she even realizes..."

Translation: If I can't feel pretty, no one can.

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