The Great White Hope

Let's all be realistic for a moment -- Bachmann is too fraking nuts to win a general election. She's Obama's best bet at re-election because her pandering to the crazies has turned off the other two-thirds of the electorate who recognize the Earth revolves around the sun. Similarly, Romney doesn't have these nutters and so would be reduced to painting himself as the more business-friendly Obama -- which the past few years has demonstrated is a matter of degrees. Neither of the GOP frontrunners can marshal the sort of electoral force to unseat Barry and plunge this country into another term of bad craziness like the Bush years.

And that's why when Rick Perry talks I get scared. He straddles the two biggest GOP factions of the day -- shrieking crazies and corporate welfare queens -- meaning he could take the crazy vote from Bachmann, the "sensible" vote from Romney, and run 'em all the way to the White House and the end of the world.

Perry is currently the governor of the failed state of Texas. I can't emphasis that enough -- failed -- because the dissembling reptile is pitching it as the exact opposite. Perry loves to blather on and on about how his Hayekian austerity-deregulation double-whammy has made Texas the economic envy of the nation. Truth is, Texas is on it's way to resembling 1980s Bolivia -- lots of poor and desperate people supporting a tiny clique of overprivileged looters.

Those new jobs in Texas? Minimum wage. At best. More minimum wage jobs than any other State in the Union -- and its unemployment has actually increased. It probably got help from Perry's slashing of education, after a majority of the real job growth in Texas had been tied to an expanding state government (that'll be a crowd pleaser with the Tea Party), job growth which additionally had been slower than under his predecessor George Dubya.

That's something that should be giving even the most die-hard Republican pause -- Perry is charging into this race as a de-regulatin', bible-thumpin' good ol' boy much like the last Texas governor to seek national office. Texas was a mess then too -- it's still such a mess that it took the dreaded commie stimulus to save over 200,000 jobs -- which Perry naturally protested against. Better dead than red, right? You'd think the American people would've learned after eight years of one of these lunatics but as Gary Brecher or Dr. Dolan famously said, "stupid people don't ever really LEARN anything."

No jobs, no growth, no hope period -- that's what Rick Perry wants to give this country. And if history is anything to go on, it'll be an easy sell...