Monday, February 17, 2014

Great American Socialists

This Presidents Day, let's take a moment to look back a those ultra-left, Marxist revolutionaries who helped to shape this great nation of ours!

Theodore Roosevelt

Over the course of 40 antitrust suits, he demolished the Too Big To Fail cartels of his day, such as Standard Oil and the Northern Securities Company, breaking the stranglehold of the robber barons on the levers of democratic government and opening the field to smaller businesses. And because that's not enough for Teddy, he further established such important regulations as the Meat Inspection Act and the Pure Food and Drug Act to ensure Americans knew what they were putting in their mouths.

Dwight D. Eisenhower

After conquering the Nazis and plowing his driver up and down Western Europe, ol' Ike returned to the land of the free to make things much more free. Next time you're on one of the many highways criss-crossing America, don't forget to thank this Fellow Traveler. This did more to modernize America than any self-important industrialist, all paid for by a 90% tax on those same industrialists.

Richard Nixon

Say what you want about him - it's all true - but at least Tricky Dick understood the business of government is to govern. We have this sweaty-lipped Sandinista to thank not just for the Environmental Protection Agency - which, toothless as it is, saves you from living in Beijing-like smog conditions - but also for the often overlooked Occupational Safety and Health Administration. Without OSHA, not only would you have fallen to your death by now even if you work in accounting, but you'd be soaking with more radiation and toxic chemicals than Homer Simpson.

*   *   *

It's an inspiring list of patriotic socialists, ain't it? Too bad it couldn't inspire our present day Kenyan-in Chief to give us a proper single-payer system instead of this Romneycare abomination.

No comments:

Post a Comment