Wednesday, February 15, 2012

From the Vault: Freeper Madness!

Originally published November 13th, 2008.

It must be fun to be a Freeper. Living every nerd's power fantasy of “My will be done!” They will that Bush is competent, Cheney isn't a pitiful dweeb, the Democrats are out to steal our civil liberties, Obama is a socialist (how I wish), McCain is a Commie, and every Tuesday it rains bananas.

The biggest positive from Obama's ascension, as far as I'm concerned, is watching the slow implosion of American conservatives. These cowardly swine have been running the country and culture like blind monkeys for decades and when reality finally tries to bitch slap some sense into 'em... they get nuttier!

"I can't find my marbles!"

The past week has seen a new meme emerge on the internet's foremost repository of jackassery: “The GOP isn't conservative enough! ZOMG!” Seriously, that's the excuse they're using as to why McCain lost...

"Folks it is time to realize that conservative and Republican are not the same thing. The republican party may at least give lip service to conservatives better than the dems but they are not are great white hope either." ~ rebel85

"I’m a lifelong Republican and I want to root for the home team. Problem is, I look out on the field of battle and I can’t tell which team is wearing the white uniform." ~St. Louis Conservative

Don't ya like how both these twerps are complaining the GOP aren't white enough? It's a nice Freudian slip-and-slide but the rest of their yammering also exemplifies how far they are from reality. I believe I pointed out nearly a year ago how this is bullshit. If I may repeat myself: “We don’t know this guy! He’s not really a Conservative! Or a Christian! Or a rich white man!”

And if childish denial doesn't turn your crank, how about ironic paranoia?

"Is Obama planning a Gestapo-like 'civilian national security force'? I read a quote from Rep. Paul Broun from Georgia which stated that Obama wants to set up a civilian national security force that was similar to the 'Gestapo' or the Nazi Brownshirts. What is the truth behind Obama's statements that he wants to create a 'civilian national security force that's just as powerful, just as strong, just as well-funded [as the military]'?'"~Sir Gawain

Oi ye gods! Why this is like Bush Jooner's Department of Homeland Security or his Total Information Awareness or his USA PATRIOT Act or his TIPs program! Only now it's bad 'cause a black guy is in charge! What twisted form shall this instrument of oppression take?

"We've got to have a civilian national security force that's just as powerful, just as strong, just as well-funded. We need to use technology to connect people to service. We'll expand USA Freedom Corps to create online networks where Americans can browse opportunities to volunteer." ~President Barrack Hussein Obama

...Well, he is a community organizer. Sir Gawain The Cheeto-Crusted is still scared, but he's scared of the little chinaman who delivers his eggrolls.

The folks inside drinking the kool-aid never figured out what the rest of us godless liberals know about the Grand Old Party Scam. They think it's about traditional values, get rich quick schemes, repressed homosexuality, all that good stuff. It's really all about feudalism - aristocrats and serfs. “Folks” like Bush and Romney and McCain and Browncrack are plenty rich so they don't care what you do, as long as you die for their oil. They've got their base – that would be the Freepers – convinced this is a good thing, what God intended.

 Kinda puts the last few years in perspective, don't it?

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