George Allen Sucks

I don't really care about the presidential campaign. Mostly because all the economic talk has been stupid and the result is predictable. And I live in Virginia, where there's a real election to worry about.

I have the dubious honor of having met George Allen. He spoke at my college graduation in 2005 and even the Young Republicans thought he was a boner. He spent about an hour stumping for Bush - after the little draft-dodging cokehead had scored a second term - and threw in some vague lines about how science is good and stuff. To a predominantly liberal arts school.

This is why George Allen is just so goddamn terrible. Not only is he a cartoonishly racist carpet-bagger who moved here because his home state of California didn't hate brown people enough for his liking. Not only is he a desperately partisan sycophant without an original idea in his head. But he is all of these things and still manages to be bad at being terrible!

"'Sup, hos?"

That vacous smile of his? That ain't an act, that's his default setting. He's one of the few racists who really is just ignorant, rather than steeped in tribal and cultural baggage. He regurgitates the party line by reflex because things like context are too complicated for him. And, when facing a middle of the road Democrat, the best he can come up with is a "cheerleader for Obama!" gif. He does horrible completely by the numbers! No creativity, no effort, and the only thing he's ever shown real initiative in is toxifying Virginia's water.

So I really don't care who's president. We're losing our earned benefits either way in a totally phony "debt crisis." But I'd prefer not to have some inept dildo representing me in the Senate. Being a Virginian is embarassing enough as it is with the Grand Wizard as governor.